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Dead Pigs Used To Investigate Ocean's "Dead Zones"

samzenpus posted more than 4 years ago | from the big-ocean-long-pig dept.

Canada 106

timothy writes "As places to study what happens to corpses, the Atlantic Ocean is both much larger and much more specialized than the famous 'body farm' in Knoxville, TN. But for all kinds of good reasons, sending human bodies into Davy Jones' locker just to see where they float and how they bloat is unpopular. Pigs don't pay taxes, and more importantly, they don't vote. So Canadian scientists have taken to using them as human-body proxies, to study what happens when creatures of similar size and hairlessness (aka, us) end up 86ed and in the drink."

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ACHTUNG -=:.x\.:[ Third -=- Post ]:./x.:=- ACHTUNG (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31361744)

I wholeheartedly made the effort to get into third place today. It appears that my dreams have become reality. Thus, in the way that I have made this tertiary post, I have divined myself beyond a modest man's wildest dreams and into the oblivion of happiness.

Re:ACHTUNG -=:.x\.:[ Third -=- Post ]:./x.:=- ACHT (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31361820)

actually..

Re:ACHTUNG -=:.x\.:[ Third -=- Post ]:./x.:=- ACHT (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31361844)

Either THIS is the TP, or this [slashdot.org] is by datestamp. Moron.

Re:ACHTUNG -=:.x\.:[ Third -=- Post ]:./x.:=- ACHT (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31361832)

Don't you feel silly now.

Waste not, want not. (3, Funny)

grub (11606) | more than 4 years ago | (#31361756)


What a waste.

I was going to suggest a slashdot poll for this but there are only two realistic choices. Which makes more sense?

A) The current "Sink them to the depths of the ocean where they are eaten by sea critters for science"

B) Put them in my secret basement room where I could don a pig-head skin mask and have dry anal sex with their corpses while listening to opera.

.

Re:Waste not, want not. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31361788)

Option B

Re:Waste not, want not. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31361810)

Fuck science: B!

Re:Waste not, want not. (4, Funny)

eln (21727) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362148)

Note to self: Stay out of grub's basement.

Re:Waste not, want not. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31365850)

Why? Are you somewhat porcine?

Re:Waste not, want not. (1)

RockDoctor (15477) | more than 4 years ago | (#31370686)

Note to self: Stay out of grub's basement.^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h general vicinity

FTFY

Re:Waste not, want not. (4, Funny)

greyline (1052440) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362216)

You should listen to "Goodbye Horses" instead of opera.

Re:Waste not, want not. (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31362460)

Pfff, Opera sucks, Firefox is much better.

Re:Waste not, want not. (1)

Alamais (4180) | more than 4 years ago | (#31364006)

Of all the days not to have mod points...

You forgot the "Golden Arches" option (1)

tomhudson (43916) | more than 4 years ago | (#31363498)

C) 100% Canadian Bacon.

After all, Dirty Fat Bastard wants some baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back ribs!

Re:Waste not, want not. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31366512)

What a waste.

I was going to suggest a slashdot poll for this but there are only two
realistic choices. Which makes more sense?

A) The current "Sink them to the depths of the ocean where they
are eaten by sea critters for science"

B) Put them in my secret basement room where I could don a pig-head
skin mask and have dry anal sex with their corpses while listening to opera. .

I'd vote B. I'd vote B hard

Third post (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31361776)

Actually, THIS is the third post.

MOD PARENT INFORMATIVE (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31362092)

That idiot that thought that he got TP actually got FP. Let all of Slashdot know this.

No research in a vacuum (1)

fishwallop (792972) | more than 4 years ago | (#31361836)

The lead scientist noted that they were "piggybacking" on colleagues' forensics research.

Change from the original plan (5, Funny)

Chris Mattern (191822) | more than 4 years ago | (#31361880)

They were going to use dead puppies, until they found out they're not much fun.

Re:Change from the original plan (5, Funny)

zepo1a (958353) | more than 4 years ago | (#31361932)

I heard they were going to use dead cats, but the "101 Uses for a Dead Cat" publishing lobby vetoed that idea as changing the title of the book series to 102 would be too costly.

Re:Change from the original plan (1)

zepo1a (958353) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362160)

Oh brother you're on a roll, where's the "douchebag with mod points" report button?

Re:Change from the original plan (1)

RealGrouchy (943109) | more than 4 years ago | (#31367278)

If "screwing with the '101 Uses for a Dead Cat' publishing lobby" isn't on the original list, they've got a problem.

- RG>

Re:Change from the original plan (1)

sharkey (16670) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362050)

Yeah, they don't come when you call...

Re:Change from the original plan (1)

sconeu (64226) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362664)

And they don't chase squirrels at all.

Re:Change from the original plan (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31363078)

SQUIRREL! *stiffens up, looking intently in a particular direction*

Re:Change from the original plan (1)

John Straffin (902430) | more than 4 years ago | (#31363428)

You insensitive clods! My puppy died late last fall!

Re:Change from the original plan (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31366450)

I know, I smelled him rotting in the hall.

Re:Change from the original plan (1)

vegiVamp (518171) | more than 4 years ago | (#31369700)

Have you tried donating him to Canada ?

Re:Change from the original plan (1, Insightful)

zepo1a (958353) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362096)

You modded the Parent troll? Got a stick up your ass or something? That was funny.

Re:Change from the original plan (1)

ArsonSmith (13997) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362260)

they were going to use dead puppies, but then they got intelligence that Atlantians may be Muslim.

PETA tried it with kittens (1)

future assassin (639396) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362276)

http://www.peta.or/sea_kittens [www.peta.or] or what they really meant http://thedevils.net/sea-kittens [thedevils.net]

Re:PETA tried it with kittens (1)

conureman (748753) | more than 4 years ago | (#31371326)

That's:
http://www.peta.org/sea_kittens [peta.org]
but thedevils has funny pictures.
As Patrick Laffey (RIP) used to say, "You can't MAKE this shit up."

Re:Change from the original plan (1)

Mantis8 (876944) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362990)

They were really just playing the extreme oceanic version of "Pass the Pigs" game.

Much more efficient. (1, Funny)

Chris Burke (6130) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362016)

This sounds like a much better idea than when they studied the Dead Zone in the 80s using Christopher Walken. Dead bloated pig corpses are more plentiful, not to mention way less creepy.

Re:Much more efficient. (1)

mikael (484) | more than 4 years ago | (#31364930)

Not until you see "2020: The year the mutant zombie pigs attacked"

Bacon (2, Funny)

josteos (455905) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362070)

Tastes awesome AND is great for fishing, crabbing, shrimping, sea starring, sharking, ...

As long as it doesn't effect the price of bacon. (2, Informative)

newdsfornerds (899401) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362076)

Pigs will kill and eat people too you know. Not just feral pigs either.

Re:As long as it doesn't effect the price of bacon (1)

MrMista_B (891430) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362360)

Of course it won't effect the price of bacon.

Neither will it affect the price of bacon.

Re:As long as it doesn't effect the price of bacon (1)

newdsfornerds (899401) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362506)

I though affect was used mainly to decribe emotional states these days. No?

Re:As long as it doesn't effect the price of bacon (1)

khellendros1984 (792761) | more than 4 years ago | (#31363824)

"affect", used as a noun, refers to emotional states, or how the face looks or something. As a verb, it means "having an effect upon".
"effect" as a noun, refers to a consequence or result. As a verb, it means the same thing as "implement", roughly.

Re:As long as it doesn't effect the price of bacon (1)

Gerafix (1028986) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362490)

Don't worry, the price of long pork will most certainly fall in the coming years due to increased supply.

Re:As long as it doesn't effect the price of bacon (1)

turing_m (1030530) | more than 4 years ago | (#31364506)

Don't worry, the price of long pork will most certainly fall in the coming years due to increased supply.

If everything else is equal you are correct, but not if enough people are long in long pork, or if more people express a longing for long pork. If you remember the Atkins fad, you will know that pork is not immune to speculative bubbles, especially in the rind sector.

Screw that (4, Funny)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362098)

Do you have any idea how many Bacon Double Cheeseburgers you can get out of a single pig and cow? You would throw all that deliciousness away just to get a 40-page article in Forensic Science Quarterly that comes to the final conclusion "They sink"?

Re:Screw that (3, Funny)

multiplexo (27356) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362384)

Do you have any idea how many Bacon Double Cheeseburgers you can get out of a single pig and cow? You would throw all that deliciousness away just to get a 40-page article in Forensic Science Quarterly that comes to the final conclusion "They sink"?

No kidding. Why not, instead of using tasty pigs, round up a bunch of Tea Party members, anyone who thinks Sarah Palin is qualified to be president and everyone at Fox News, shoot them in the head and use their corpses for the testing. We'd not only end up with more tasty bacon but we'd also be improving the collective IQ of humanity by doing so, and accomplishing valuable science. It's all upside.

Re:Screw that (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31362540)

So why exactly do you support the spending of trillions of dollars borrowed from China for an ineffective bailout program that only makes the rich friends of government even richer?

Re:Screw that (1, Informative)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362604)

Are you talking about the bailout introduced and championed by a Republican President and voted for almost unanimously by Republicans in Congress, or some other one?

Re:Screw that (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31363160)

Please go take basic US government.

HR1424 was introduced by Patrick Kennedy, a Democrat. Not President Bush.

The president doesn't introduce bills. Membes of Congress do.

Do you seriously believe that republicans are responsible for a bill brought about by a democrat controlled congress?

The one that a majority of republicans voted against?

What universe do you live in and are you really that gullible?

Re:Screw that (0, Troll)

Attila Dimedici (1036002) | more than 4 years ago | (#31363190)

No, I believe he is talking about the economic "stimulus" package that didn't stimulate the economy. The bailout package that Bush got Congress to pass was "only" in the billions. While the "stimulus" package wasn't a trillion dollars, 800 billion is damn close. Although, the bank bailout was bad enough, but for someone who compaigned on opposing the overspending of the Bush Administration to immediately outspend them in a single year, that takes some chutzpah.

Re:Screw that (3, Insightful)

Kelbear (870538) | more than 4 years ago | (#31363926)

The difference in a trillion dollars spent on war, and the 700 billion "spent" in TARP loans, is that loans can get repaid:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB126015764384079549.html [wsj.com]

Whether or not Bush should have invaded Iraq, and whether or not Obama should have tried to stabilize the financial system are separate issues. Just saying that the spending involved is of a different nature.

Re:Screw that (4, Insightful)

Attila Dimedici (1036002) | more than 4 years ago | (#31364162)

So the difference between Iraq (Bush) and TARP (also Bush) has what to do with Obama spending more in the first year than Bush did in 8?

Re:Screw that (2, Insightful)

Boronx (228853) | more than 4 years ago | (#31366506)

Where'd you hear that Obama added 5 trillion dollars to the national debt last year? You've been lied to. I'd guess by Rush Limbaugh, since he's been saying this for weeks, but no doubt a lot of lesser professional liars are repeating it.

Re:Screw that (1)

locallyunscene (1000523) | more than 4 years ago | (#31366920)

http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2010/jan/15/karl-rove/rove-claims-obama-has-already-run-more-debt-bush-d/ [politifact.com]

It's a misquote of Karl Rove(although the original quote was worded to be misleading in this way anyway). He's mixing up debt and deficit.

Re:Screw that (1)

Boronx (228853) | more than 4 years ago | (#31368882)

Limbaugh's lie goes like this: newspaper says The national debt reached 11 Trillion last year. That's last year, not the 2001-2008, but 2009. It's Obama's debt!

Of course, The debt was already around 5 Trillion in 2001 and was nearly 10 Trillion by 2009, but Limbaugh thinks his listeners don't know that.

Re:Screw that (1)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 4 years ago | (#31370646)

Wait...Karl Rove being deceptive?!?!?

Re:Screw that (1)

BeansBaxter (918704) | more than 4 years ago | (#31363454)

Pretty sure he means the "4 times more expensive than tarp" stimulus plan.

Re:Screw that (3, Funny)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362638)

Now, now, settle down. Besides, I'm pretty sure that shooting any of those particular people in the head wouldn't really hurt them.

Re:Screw that (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31363834)

On the funny of this:

In the UK it was recently announced a new scheme, whereby if a 5-year old schoolboy uses a homophobic or racist word, it will be put on his record and remain there until he is 18, for the purpose of tracking his behaviour to see whether it is persistently racist or persistently homophobic.

Those same schoolkids can very happily talk about stringing up and killing conservatives in a fun tone.

Re:Screw that (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31364950)

"we'd also be improving the collective IQ of humanity"

False: The IQ of humanity is and always will be 100.

Re:Screw that (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31373726)

So that would mean that we have IQ deflation! The members of mensa are going to be pissed!

Re:Screw that (1)

rtaylor (70602) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362852)

Their funding for doing the project was enough for 3 pigs. They sent 2 into the ocean.

Mmmm.. Thinly sliced and fried pork bellies.

Re:Screw that (1)

RobertLTux (260313) | more than 4 years ago | (#31365530)

i think they use pigs "marked" not fit for human consumption in these kind of things

(do you think that a slaughterhouse is going to sell/give a useable carcass??

Re:Screw that (1)

holmstar (1388267) | more than 4 years ago | (#31373744)

Sure they will, if you are willing to pay for it. Why wouldn't they sell you one?

Deep-6. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31362196)

So what happens to all the sailors sent to Davy Jones Locker?

Aesthetics (1)

skidisk (994551) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362230)

There is something vaguely odd yet consistent about floating and sinking dead pigs into a dead zone. I wonder if they put lipstick on them...

I know one person eager to hear the results. (3, Funny)

SOdhner (1619761) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362240)

He's a blood spatter expert for Miami PD. He seems really, really interested in what they find. I wonder why?

Re:I know one person eager to hear the results. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31364776)

Word, Dex!

Clearly the Wrong Serial Killer. (1)

jeko (179919) | more than 4 years ago | (#31365276)

Oh, come on, man, everyone knows Dexter uses human bodies to dump at sea.

It's dead pigs, for Goodness' sake! How does that not just scream "Jigsaw" to you, or at least that pig farmer Frank Black fought on "Millenium?" :-)

I need to get out more.

So . . . (1)

newdsfornerds (899401) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362264)

they are zombie pigs programmed to work in the cold, dark depths?

Curiosity? Reason? (1, Interesting)

BJ_Covert_Action (1499847) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362306)

Well the approach to understanding the Atlantic, 'dead zone,' makes sense. Pigs have, so far as I understand, been used for all sorts of science where using humans is not practical or ethical. For instance, if I recall correctly, various pig organs can and are used for human organ transplants. So sure, using pigs for this sort of thing makes sense. However, I do have a question.

What are the reasons for better understanding corpse decomposition in the oceans?

It sounds like this may be a study to figure out if human corpses end up drifting to a common location (much like that floating garbage patch in the pacific). If so, is this primarily a search and rescue type study? Are they trying to see if the bodies of missing persons can be dug up from the ocean depths? Is there some other reason for doing a study like this?

Don't get me wrong, I am all for knowledge for it's own sake. I would just like to know what the motivations are behind this study.

TFA states:

"If you need to know how long it's been since death, if you're looking at the remains and there are marks on them, you need to find out - how did those marks come about?"

So I suppose that is a partial answer to my question. I am still curious though, if there is any spin off science that could be gathered from this kind of study. Surely there are some marine biologists out there that could use the data gathered here to better understand this particular ecological niche. Any other ideas?

Re:Curiosity? Reason? (1)

Zordak (123132) | more than 4 years ago | (#31366216)

Pigs have, so far as I understand, been used for all sorts of science where using humans is not practical or ethical. For instance, if I recall correctly, various pig organs can and are used for human organ transplants. So sure, using pigs for this sort of thing makes sense. However, I do have a question.

Don't forget the Mythbusters. They have frequently used pigs as human analogs.

Missread is the first time (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31362344)

"UnDead Pigs Used To Investigate Ocean's "Dead Zones""

Ripped from the headlines (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31362354)

Sounds like CSI just found their next plotline.

instead of pigs... (3, Insightful)

SnarfQuest (469614) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362382)

Pigs are really useful, for example, as a seperator between a beef patty and lettuce. Why not use something that's completely useless, like politicions?

Re:instead of pigs... (1)

SoVeryTired (967875) | more than 4 years ago | (#31363604)

Politicions? What are they, like the political wing of the Decepticons?

Re:instead of pigs... (1)

happyhamster (134378) | more than 4 years ago | (#31365058)

How about something not only completely useless, but harmful, like bankers?

Re:instead of pigs... (1)

GaryOlson (737642) | more than 4 years ago | (#31366442)

Too much hot air; those politicians will never sink.

Fuzz (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31362594)

Pigs is such ugly slang. Can't we use Coppers, or Fuzz, or The Heat?

Marine Science, not forensics research (4, Informative)

Somegeek (624100) | more than 4 years ago | (#31362746)

Surprisingly, (sarcasm) the summary is misleading. From reading the article, the research is about finding out about marine scavengers in low oxygen ocean environments, and how low of a concentration of oxygen they will tolerate in order to feed.

"So Professor Tunnicliffe and her team set out to find out "how low marine scavengers would go", in terms of oxygen, for a free lunch."

It has nothing to do with dead humans sinking or floating or decomposing. The pigs were a convenient bait that they tethered to the ocean floor in specific areas of specific oxygen concentrations.

They learned that the scavengers would spend days in a 7% oxygen environment, which was previously thought to be uninhabitable, but if the bait was placed in an even lower oxygen area, it was left alone by everything except bacteria.

Re:Marine Science, not forensics research (2, Informative)

yasmar (685541) | more than 4 years ago | (#31363340)

The reference to the Atlantic Ocean is also off the mark. The study occurred on Canada's west coast.

Re:Marine Science, not forensics research (1)

Thud457 (234763) | more than 4 years ago | (#31363528)

These pigs, they're putting running shoes [nwsource.com] on them?

Re:Marine Science, not forensics research (1)

holmstar (1388267) | more than 4 years ago | (#31373802)

It has nothing to do with dead humans sinking or floating or decomposing

If you read closely, it states that they piggybacked their research onto a another team that was doing exactly that.

Fitting... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31362950)

...that the most apropos decomposition study model for a human body from Western civilization is the humble yet corpulent swine. Round, fat, just a little hairy. We truly are what we eat.

Throwing them overboard (1)

jamesyouwish (1738816) | more than 4 years ago | (#31363076)

Do they Yell Swine Flu when they throw them?

Zombie pigs... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31363108)

Grains....GRAINS!

Re:Zombie pigs... (1)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 4 years ago | (#31364558)

You do know pigs are omnivorous, just like people, don't you? Only zombie cows would be into grains...

What a waste of good pork! (2, Funny)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 4 years ago | (#31363500)

Why not simply use lawyers?

Re:What a waste of good pork! (1)

shutdown -p now (807394) | more than 4 years ago | (#31364380)

For some reason, they float rather than drown...

Re:What a waste of good pork! (1)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 4 years ago | (#31364468)

Villager: (tentatively) Because they're made of.....wood?

Re:What a waste of good pork! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31366452)

Why not simply use lawyers?

They're not enough like humans.

Re:What a waste of good pork! (1)

GaryOlson (737642) | more than 4 years ago | (#31366474)

Because lawyers are already the lowest form of slime on the earth -- ocean scavengers can't reduce them any further.

Re:What a waste of good pork! (1)

ProfFalcon (628305) | more than 4 years ago | (#31372436)

The sharks and bottom feeders wouldn't eat them out of professional courtesy.

Dead Pigs Used To Investigate Ocean's "Dead Zones" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31363566)

but they got tired of doing that. Now they are investigating the ocean's coral reefs.

Dead pigs are useful to study scavengers because . (2, Funny)

tomhudson (43916) | more than 4 years ago | (#31363642)

"This big hunk of meat on the seafloor represented a good food source for these marine creatures," she says.

"Scavengers are very important in the world. They're what allow things to restore."

The pigs are used by forensics researchers because - strange as it might seem - we humans are remarkably pig-like in our anatomy. We share their relatively hairless skin, are similar in size, and our flesh has a similar make-up and TASTE.

There, fixed it.

Human flesh isn't called "long pig" or "the other other white meat" for nothing.

Re:Dead pigs are useful to study scavengers becaus (1)

RockWolf (806901) | more than 4 years ago | (#31368064)

Human flesh isn't called "long pig" or "the other other white meat" for nothing.

[citation needed]

That's why they're dead now (1)

wealthychef (584778) | more than 4 years ago | (#31363916)

They used to investigate the dead zones, now they're dead themselves.

Simpler way (1)

shutdown -p now (807394) | more than 4 years ago | (#31364394)

Why bother with the pigs? Just outsource it to China. I bet it's going to be cheaper as well!

BBC rocks, hard. (1)

Oneamp (733046) | more than 4 years ago | (#31365722)

Pardon the off topic post, but when I followed the link to the BBC's website and watched the video of the pigs being used for....er....science, I noticed this: http://imgur.com/bdeKx [imgur.com] Rock on BBC!

Why not use lawyers? (1)

jonadab (583620) | more than 4 years ago | (#31366718)

Lawyers are much less popular than pigs.

Re:Why not use lawyers? (1)

ColdWetDog (752185) | more than 4 years ago | (#31368002)

Lawyers are much less popular than pigs.

The idea of the study was to see what undersea scavengers would do in a low oxygen environment. If you sunk a group of lawyers in a dead zone, then you'd have scavengers chasing scavengers in an anaerobic wasteland. This would simply replicate a typical day on Capital Hill. No need to waste any more tax money on that.

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