Koalas Gone Wild 115
Mabon writes "CNN reports that 30,000 of the starving animals are destroying the ecosystem by stripping away the greenery. The Austrailian government proposes shooting some 20,000 of them to reduce the amount of gum trees used by the animals."
Capture and Sell them! (Score:2, Funny)
I can't wait to have my own Koala!
Re:Capture and Sell them! (Score:5, Informative)
They have two defense mechanisms: Peeing on things and exceedingly long, tough claws.
They view many things, including being held as threatening and they are not afraid to use both defense mechanisms on short notice.
Koalas are one of the worst pets you could possibly have.
Re:Capture and Sell them! (Score:4, Funny)
Capture, Stuff, and then sell them
Seriously though what do you do with 20000 dead or unwanted Koalas, at least lets get some use out of them. Something better than fertilizer hopefully.
Re:Capture and Sell them! (Score:1)
Better yet : Eat Them! (Score:5, Funny)
BTW - no joke. Look at the poor sharks, blubber whales, tigers, etc. The trick isn't getting them to start, it is getting them to stop.
Re:Better yet : Eat Them! (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:Better yet : Eat Them! (Score:2)
There are many animals, including a number of mammals, that do not drink water.
Here's a quick link [ca.gov] from Google on one of the examples.
Re:Better yet : Eat Them! (Score:1)
Re:Capture and Sell them! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Capture and Sell them! (Score:5, Funny)
They have two defense mechanisms: Peeing on things and exceedingly long, tough claws.
They view many things, including being held as threatening and they are not afraid to use both defense mechanisms on short notice.
There are a band of lunatics that enjoy being subjected to this kind of behavior. We call them "cat lovers".
Re:Capture and Sell them! (Score:1)
You, bad man, had me splurting bread crumbs all over my keyboard. I hate people who make me laugh while I eat or drink!
Re:Capture and Sell them! (Score:1)
I'm going to have to post this and then get away quickly before I fail to keep my slacking quiet.
Re:Capture and Sell them! (Score:1)
Re:Capture and Sell them! (Score:5, Funny)
As for the claws, those can always be clipped.
As for the peeing, that just means he likes you! And remember guys, if you toss her clothes in your washing machine that means she isn't wearing them!
-
Re:Capture and Sell them! (Score:1)
They are also prone to dropping dead from stress.
The can eat the leaves of only ONE strain of one species of Eucalypt and said leaves have a narcotic effect on them. The dont even drink, getting their fluid from their diet.
Koalas are not just the worst pets, they are bloody shameful animals, if Australia had any serious predators, they would long ago have become extinct.
err!
jak
Re:Capture and Sell them! (Score:2)
Sounds like a room-mate I had in college.
Still, I would love one as a pet. Given the two choices, either slaughter 20,000 of them, or sell them as exotic pets for $2,500 apiece for $50M in profit - I think the 'exotic pet' avenue needs to be reconsidered.
Re:Capture and Sell them! (Score:1)
Hence the orgin of the mythical Australian Drop Bear...
Re:Capture and Sell them! (Score:1)
Be afraid, be very afraid
err!
jak
I've held one (Score:2)
Of course, this was basically a touristy thing, not a natural environment by any
Re:Capture and Sell them! (Score:2)
Worthless article (Score:5, Insightful)
1) How would nature control population growth in koalas?
2) Have we in some way removed that control and can it be re-introduced.
All the article talks about is why we should or should not shoot them. There is no indication whatsoever that anybody cares why the koalas are overpopulated (and no, a quick blurb about urbanization doesn't count).
Re:Worthless article (Score:4, Insightful)
1. Introduce a deadly predator capable of killing 20,000 of them (which is the plan).
2. Disease (bad idea).
3. Famine (the plan is to prevent this because the Australians like trees and koalas).
That doesn't mean I advocate a hunt as a solution to every animal problem, but sometimes it is the solution.
Re:Worthless article (Score:5, Funny)
Most Australians do not like Koalas much. (see my other post on this subject). They put up with them because stupid tourists pay a lot of money to be peed on.
Also, it's fun to go to a tourist trap, stand around the bottom of a tree and point up at it and walk away once the crowd gathers. Couldn't do that if the Koalas were all dead now, could we?
Re:Worthless article (Score:2)
(I know there's a Foster's joke in there somewhere, just waiting to get out)
Re:Worthless article (Score:1)
Re:Worthless article (Score:2)
Re:Worthless article (Score:1)
Why not?
Besides which, now you can have 20,000 tourist traps.
1) Put a stuffed koala waaay up in some random tree (doesn't have to be eucalyptus -- tourists aren't going to care), or on a building, or in the bottom of a pool with cute little SCUBA gear on it.
2)Stand and point.
Oh, yeah...
3)
Re:Worthless article (Score:2)
Most Australians do not like Koalas much
Not where I live in Brisbane. A government got thrown out of office because they wanted to put a bypass that would have disturbed about 20 koalas. Whenever, I've seen them everyone is interested and keen to let it be undisturbed. Mind you I think the notion by people outside Oz that they are cuddly is crazy ... wild animals are not cuddly ... koalas have big powerful claws and aren't afraid to use them. Leave em be.
As for Kangaroo Island. Maybe they should just int
Disney Solution(was Re:Worthless article) (Score:1)
Why? Don't you think that a Disney camera crew could herd them off a cliff and film it for a "Wild Australia" movie?
Re:Worthless article (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Other extinctions (Score:2)
Re:Worthless article (Score:5, Insightful)
2) Have we in some way removed that control and can it be re-introduced.
The island itself is not a native habitat for koalas; they were introduced by humans. There is therefore no natural control on the koalas on the island. To restore the natural balance, one would eliminate the artifical infestation by the artificial means of killing all the koalas.
Re:Worthless article (Score:2)
Re:Worthless article (Score:5, Informative)
Money quote:
Not native to Kangaroo Island, Koalas are now devastating, through overeating, these eucalypts.
And I agree that the Reuters article (the actual source, CNN just reprinted it) was basically worthless.
Re:Worthless article (Score:1)
Re:Worthless article (Score:3, Insightful)
Derek
Worthless response (Score:2)
Re:Worthless response (Score:1)
Re:Worthless article (Score:1)
Re:Worthless article (Score:1)
CNN for Aus news. Brilliant.... (Score:2)
Q
Re:Worthless article (Score:5, Insightful)
1) Starvation or disease
2) Nature is taking its course. It is a standard population model of food availability and population increase that is explained in Biology of Populations.
We apply our human morals to a natural process and declare it "bad". Well, it may be but it IS what happens in nature when the population of a species exceeds the carrying capacity and food availability of the environment that holds it.
If the population needs to be controlled, the proven method is to thin the reproducing females or relocate them into another population.
PIck up an Ecology or Bio of Populations book. Very enlightening reading.
Re:Worthless article (Score:1, Insightful)
Re:Worthless article (Score:5, Insightful)
This is like saying feral cats and foxes pushing many Australian native mammals and birds to extinction is "nature taking its course". It is true, but beside the point.
What Australians (those who care about these things) want is that the wild places of Australia are like they were before Capt Cook "discovered" Terra Australis. If this means killing introduced pests like cats, foxes, rabbits, camels, cane toads ... and culling koala and roo populations that have gotten out of control ... so be it.
FYI, the Australian lanscape has been actively managed by man for thousands of years. This is the natural state of things.
Re:Worthless article (Score:2)
Nevertheless, Nature is taking its course.
1) New species introduced into a closed environment with no competitors and predators.
2) Species multiplies and population increases.
3) Population exceeds carrying capacity of environment by exceeding food supply or overcrowding.
4) Starvation or disease takes over reducing or wiping out population. If food supply has been removed, population dies out completely. In any case, Mass die off occurs
6) If fo
Re:Worthless article (Score:2)
Koalas have no sigificant predators on KI, and they are drastically modifying the KI environment by killing off the eucalypt forests. This deforestation is removing food sources and destroying habitat for many
Re:Worthless article (Score:1)
OT Reply to two different sigs (Score:2)
re: stupidity, why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
Because then the advice, "Do not look at laser with remaining eye" wouldn't be nearly as funny.
Koalas are heavily dependent on the ecosystem (Score:5, Funny)
This could sell in Canada (Score:3, Funny)
Unless you want your meat to taste like an herbal cough drop
Buckley's koala burgers.
They taste terrible
But they work.
You Idiot! (Score:5, Funny)
A drop bear is an animal similar to a koala, but slightly larger, with sharper claws and teeth adapted for eating meat. The primary food of the drop bear is other animals, however, they have been known to go after humans, particularly overseas tourists. Their name derives from their means of hunting: they lurk in trees, and drop down on their unsuspecting victims.
Re:You Idiot! (Score:2)
Re:You Idiot! (Score:2)
Re:You Idiot! (Score:1)
A lot of people laugh about them until they see one take out a kangaroo. You don't want one of these guys dropping on you!
Relocation would be nice... (Score:3, Informative)
Here in Canberra, we recently had some fairly significant bushfires [google.com.au] (Brushfires to US readers.. though I agree with a slashdot poster of a few months back, who thought that brushfire sounded like a problem caused by overactive grooming...).
As part of the fires, one of our wonderful nature parks ( Tidbinbilla [act.gov.au]) has lost all but one of their Koalas. Now that leaves are starting to come back onto the trees once more, it might be a good time to try and acquire some more koalas.. This would seem to be an ideal opportunity to bring back a koala population into the area.
I suspect though, that the costs might be somewhat prohibitive, and I'm not really sure about territorial habits of Koalas, so there might be other factors that would make transferrel difficult.
Red.
Re:Relocation would be nice... (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Relocation would be nice... (Score:2, Funny)
(Brushfires to US readers.. though I agree with a slashdot poster of a few months back, who thought that brushfire sounded like a problem caused by overactive grooming...).
And what do you think 'bushfires' sounds like to us yanks?
I like this plan. (Score:5, Funny)
No, animals were harmed in the making of this post.
So cute! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:So cute! (Score:3, Funny)
Ob-Futurama:
Re:So cute! (Score:1)
Re:So cute! (Score:2)
Now you have a valuable koala pelt which you can stuff for children's toys or sew into a wonderful evening coat. Plus, you didn't have to kill any animals in the process so animal activists will be pleased as well. Everybod
Not native (Score:5, Informative)
Koalas were introduced here by humans in the 1920's.
They are not a natural part of the ecosystem.
Re:Not native (Score:2)
Re:Not native (Score:2)
That or bring tigers to Kangaroo Island, that will fix things right up!
Re:Not native (Score:2)
The dingo is not native to Kangaroo Island. Introducing it there would cause worse damage than the problem of koalas. Besides, the dingo is regarded as a pest in pastoral country because it kills sheep.
Re:Not native (Score:2)
Re:Not native (Score:2)
slippers anyone??? (Score:4, Funny)
I used to live there. (Score:5, Informative)
As mentioned above, the koalas were introduced to KI early last century, and thus have nothing to regulate their population growth as they do on the mainland.
The problem was first brought up about a decade ago, when scientists studying the koalas noticed how large the population was getting, and predicted they'd start stripping their own food sources in a few years. Around that time, the idea of a cull by professional shooters was quietly raised, discussed, and concluded by various intelligent folk to be a good idea.
Then some idiot journalist got hold of it, and beat up a huge story: "They're planning to shoot hundreds of our cute, cuddly national icons!!!"
After the media stink from that, the fucking State Government stated that they would ban the shooting of the koalas. Like it was something to do with them.
Anyway, to show they were doing something about the koala overpopulation problem, they instituted a capture and sterilization program. Yes, they thought they'd stop all those naughty koalas breeding, but leave them in place. Aside from the lifespan of a koala being such that they're still going to destroy their habitat, it's being completely ineffectively implimented.
It takes about two to four man-hours to find and capture one koala. Sterilizing them is another half hour to hour operation, and then they've got to be kept in a cage for a day or so...
I know one of the two (yes, two) vets working on this, and he's got no illusions that it's anything more than a political sop to the idiot majority who can't bear the thought of shooting those cute little animals.
The fact that the notion of culling them has now arisen again shows just how effective this program has been.
And do you know what? The local media are still running with the same fucking slant!!
"They're going to shoot all these cute little koala bears, how awful!"
I think 30,000 koalas starving to death would be a damn sight worse, and far crueler. I'm in favour of the cull.
Oh, and before you ask, we can't really ship them anywhere else. Unless you know somewhere that's able to accomodate 20,000 koalas on short notice, and have a few million dollars to implement the move.
Re:I used to live there. (Score:2)
Japan is nuts about koalas. I doubt the climate works, though.
What eats koalas on the mainland? What about introducing a couple of those predators?
Re:I used to live there. (Score:4, Informative)
Australia doesn't actually have any large land predators except humans. Generally, the environment is harsh enough to act as population control. In this case, the Island (as it's known to locals) lacks sufficient nastiness of climate and such to reduce the population through attrition.
Re:I used to live there. (Score:1)
same problem, different animal... we wound up shooting them by giving bow hunters licenses and openening a special hunting season. No one attempted to interfere and the problem went away.
Of course, instead of just starving, they were walking into roads and getting into trouble with the laws of physics.
Eat 'em (Score:5, Interesting)
Re:Eat 'em (Score:3, Insightful)
Good job, PETA. "Don't wear fur, don't wear fur, don't...damn, we're covered in muskrats."
Re:Eat 'em (Score:1)
Interestingly, there's more of a stink from the
Re:Eat 'em (Score:2)
Re:Eat 'em (Score:1)
Send in a bunch of Cajun tourists, and tell 'em:
Re:Eat 'em (Score:1)
The problem was a flock of ducks residing in the drainage ditch.. er. "lake", adjacent to us. One resident's children would coax the ducks to the apartment complex with bread crumbs, and from then on the sidewalks were one slippery mess. Now, we had a condrundrum...
However, an entrerprising family had a really neat way of taking advantage of this. I noticed they would leave their patio gate open and ducks
Re:Eat 'em (Score:1)
Promotions to 'eat this plague away' never caught on in the Netherlands but in Belgium (Flanders) you can eat 'water rabbit' in some restaurants.
Think of the costs associated... (Score:3, Interesting)
That would be a pretty damned expensive operation. Factoring in:
=+=1000's of litres of gas for jeeps to track the koalas.
=+=hiring people to shoot the koalas - unless its done by volunteers.
=+=25000 rounds of ammo. Hunters may miss the koala, or hit it in a non-critical area (legs, arms). Where's an aimbot when you need one?
=+=hauling of 20000 dead koalas. A few solid transport trucks should do the trick.
Their best bet would be to sell off the dead koalas to make back some of the money. Koala Burgers anyone?
Re:Think of the costs associated... (Score:3, Funny)
Oh, ok, I guess I misread "The government proposes shooting 20,000 of them"... I thought it was pretty darn heroic of the government to sacrify themselves for the koalas.
Re:Think of the costs associated... (Score:1, Informative)
In Montana when they had to take care of the bodies of hundred of buffalo culled, we used dynamite. Sounds crazy, but it really speeds their decay (and in the buffalo's case they were potentially diseased so that was a prime concern).
Re:Think of the costs associated... (Score:3, Interesting)
Exploding Whale [snopes.com]
Re:Think of the costs associated... (Score:2)
hauling of 20000 dead koalas
Nah, just leave the carcasses there and let the velociroos eat 'em.
Re:Think of the costs associated... (Score:2, Insightful)
Disappointing... (Score:4, Funny)
Simple solution: Bolivian Tree Lizards (Score:4, Funny)
I say (Score:1, Funny)
Ob Koala Joke (Score:4, Funny)
There was a Koala bear that decided he was tired of the boring life in Australia, and decided he would go to NYC.
On his first day there, he picked up a lady of the evening.
When he was finished he stood up and went for the door. The hooker said, "excuse me but aren't you forgetting something?", and he replied, "I don't 'think so".
The hooker grabs a dictionary and looks up the word 'hooker' and shows it to him. 'Hooker = A lady who has sex for money.'
"Really", he said, and proceeded to look up 'Koala Bear' in the dictionary to show her:
'Koala: An Australian marsupial that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves.'
Reminds me of the Futurama with the Penguins (Score:1, Insightful)
Re:Capture and Sell them! (Score:1)
Re:Capture and Sell them! (Score:3, Informative)
Every zoo worth its salt already has them, and they are being bred in captivity. Also, the existing zoo stock is more conditioned to humans and less likely to flip out on them (Despite being cute and cuddley, Koalas are fairly well armed for defense, as an above post described).
Furthur, good luck finding a market for tens of thousands of Koalas in zoos. Even if they weren't already in every zoo in the world, you'd be hard pressed to sell that many of them.
Or be relocat
Re:Hypocrisy (Score:2, Insightful)
Re:Hypocrisy (Score:2)
They were minding their own business and sticking to their areas until the Shanghai businessmen came along.
Not that any of this is news if you're at least 14 years old. It was all over AU Newsweek in a cover story at the time. It required only you be able to read.
Sorry if that would have been too much for you.
If my post suggests to you I am hypocritical, yours suggests you are ignorant.
Re:Hypocrisy (Score:1)
True Hypocrisy..... (Score:2)
I hate the "not native" argument. Life grows, expands, adapts and dies out all the time.
What if they had come across to the island on a log? Are they native because they made it on their own? Or do we simply look at the world as it was when we started recording history and decide that is how the world was, is and always should be?
Simple (Score:1)